Humor Me

I'm a designer for a Fortune 500 Company in the Facilities/Operations Department - although we have facilities worldwide, there are almost 8,000 employees across campus in our city.  One thing I love is the variety of projects I work on and people I meet.  Recently, I was working on some changes in a Conference Room and I saw Toastmasters Club info on a whiteboard.  I didn't know we had a club on campus!

The thought of joining Toastmasters has arisen in my mind previously, fleetingly.  But seeing this piqued my interest and immediately I knew I wanted to join!  Felt COMPELLED to join - I had seen it for a reason!  To work on my skills, to improve.

This is now happening and I'll be sharing tips and thoughts through this process!   

Today will be my first official speaking role (last week, I did an impromptu minute-long response to a question), and it will be to serve as the Humorist.  

The member filling the role of Humorist is to start the meeting off with some words of humor (a joke or funny story) - this should last around 2 minutes.  (So far, mine is 3, and I need to cut some content!  😀)

You should be funny, but clean and non-offensive.  In the Club I attend, there is a mix of many races, genders, religious backgrounds and probably sexual orientation (I didn't ask!).  The subject matter should also be geared toward the topic for the week, which is Spring Break.

My speaking role is geared toward travel, since I wasn't finding many jokes (other than risque) about Spring Break - I found some, but they weren't funny!

Why did I sign on for this role at Toastmasters?

My passion is to positively impact as many as possible - and to do that, I need great communication skills.  Taking on these communication roles will help me be versatile and think on the spot!  I embrace my personal growth!

I practiced this while timing this afternoon:

Below is my Humorist "speech" - hope you enjoy!

Good afternoon Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters, distinguished guests.  Today, I bring you the gift of laughter.!

I never went on a typical Spring Break in college, but I DID go on many road trips in my life!  As a youngster, I went with my parents, siblings, extended relatives and whatever others happened to be along – on our big blue bus on a trip out to Washington for a camp every summer.

And I have to tell you…  the journey of a thousand miles DOES begin with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.  (And sometimes, worse!)   But those are stories for another day!

If any of you has traveled, these will probably tickle your funny bone!

One day at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt.  When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzips her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way.

Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg, only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turns around furiously and says, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!” Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends.”

Have you ever gone to a place and since you weren’t a local, you weren’t QUITE sure of the vernacular?  That happened to THIS couple!

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled K-i-s-s-i-m-e-e. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-SIM-me; or kis-a-ME.  They grew more perplexed as they drove through the town.

Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce the name of this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

The best part of a trip – or at least the most memorable – can definitely be the journey, but ultimately we begin so we can get to the destination.  Get to the hotel, get settled, and FINALLY make it to the beach!

That’s when you hear it…  What's the worst thing you can hear when you're wearing a bikini? "Good for you."

Thank you, Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters, and distinguished guests.

Are you now in a position to achieve the mindset of a champion??  To Step into the Shoes of Success???  Become a part of a community that is a great support on this journey and will give you a WEALTH of tools to use to improve yourself and your business!  This will give you the ULTIMATE in building your business!

Go ahead and take the 10-day trial for $10 bucks. (You know you want to.)  This will allow you unlimited access to begin learning and implementing the business building strategies to grow your brand, your clientele, and increase your profits.

Still Need Help?

Contact me to chat about how to get started today!

Did This Help You? If so, please let me know in a comment below!!  Please also feel free to check out my business page on Facebook!  

See you next time!


Hi, my name is Chondra Rankin!  My passion is teaching and inspiring YOU how to become prepared to grasp the luxury of designing your life well - so you can live your life... your way!

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